Betting on the End of The Donald
Who Wins and Who Loses?
Polymarket and Kalshi and other similar betting sites are venues for gambling on any random occurrence, and they are known for their aggressive pursuit of opportunities for betting on the normal and the extreme. The SuperBowl and other sports events are an easy target, but the demise of The Donald may be one of the most active bets on the markets. The current selection for the bet is for the how, where and when as the factors for the leading causes for a Non-Don end time as listed below.
Lightning strike on the golf course – high rate based on frequency of his time on the course, the “rough” location is beating out the “fairway”
Drowning after driving his golf cart across the putting green and into the lake after chasing a beverage cart girl
Getting strangled when his hair gets caught in the golf ball washer
Note: The golf course is leading the betting as to the “where” based on the time he spends there.
Falling off the roof of the new ballroom during a construction visit
Falling down or up the Air Force One flight stairs. Rumor has it they are looking at adding one of those seat-lift devices to the side of the aircraft staircase.
Dying peacefully in his sleep at one his press conference while his Cabinet sycophants are extolling his accolades
Choking to death from a McDonalds hamburger overdose coupled with a diet soda-induced stroke (different than Nelson Rockefeller)
Orange bronzer overdose application poisoning
Falling out of a window ala Putin’s style is one bet but it is unclear who would be on the pushing side and if he would fit through the window. (Maybe the black bag that was tossed out the White House window was a test run by Melania.)
A long shot but consistent with the premise of the movie The Death of Stalin is that the public will be informed of the Don’s death well after it actually occurs. Variables in the betting is how long after the death and whether body doubles will be used for the interim.
Some of the bettors think they have an insider edge on the betting based on previous reports of Trump’s body odor and images of his skin looking rotten on his hands.
A second bet on the betting markets is who will be first break a concealed smile when The Donald passes from this life. This is linked to an underlying angle of who has the most to benefit from that event.
Which insider has the most to gain by Trump dying of a stroke or heart attack or golf ball hitting him in the head or a lightning strike? Besides 200+ million Americans and countless residents of other countries who might appreciate the end, the betting is limited to certain individuals on the betting sites.
Melania and JD Vance would be the main culprits of any suspicious death as well as the main beneficiaries of a natural death. Melania would be free and only have to fight Don Jr., Eric and Ivanka over the pre-nuptial arrangement. JD Vance would get a chance at the presidency which he could never achieve on his own.
Trump’s children, excluding Baron, are split bet, as while they take over his businesses and investments, but the possibility of the children actually performing on their own may be a cause for grimace instead of a smile.
The Devil also is a split decision as his feeling is that The Donald is more useful to him alive on Earth than in Hades, complaining about the lack of gold toilets.
Perhaps a better bet question is who would actually mourn his death?
MAGA World unless it is a MAGOT who Trump has personally stolen their money or assaulted their daughter
Most of the Fox News viewers and then Fox News hosts as they will all be unemployed until they find the next useful idiot to promote
Bronzer manufacturers, gold plating manufacturers, red tie manufacturers
The Orange KoolAid Man (feels that DJT has given orange a bad name)
Dishonest golfing professionals and dishonest golf caddies and the random groundskeeper who keeps his job by fixing the putting green after The Donald drives the golf cart over it